financially speaking

Basically, we don’t have the money necessary to provide the basic comforts and necessities of life.  Or should I say we can’t afford to pay the mortgage.
It has been really hard to talk to friends and family about our financial situation.  Up until 2 years ago we didn’t carry a balance on our credit cards.  We only used the charge card to track all of our expenses.  It allowed us to see where we overspent in the previous month.  I had 4 months salary in savings.   Since my layoff in March 2011 we have struggled.  We cut back and cut back and cut back but because we didn’t realize how bad the job market was for someone with my experience.  We didn’t cut back soon enough.  I was on unemployment for over a year, after Jamey had been on unemployment for over a year.  Back to back.  The credit card soon began to hold a balance.  Then the balance got bigger and soon we were maxed out.  We opened another card with 0% interest rate just to tide us over until I was able to find a FT job.

In April 2012 my PT commission direct sales job offered me a 3 month contract position with a salary.  By taking this position I forfeited my eligibility for unemployment benefits if the contract were to end and I was not offered a FT position.  It was a gamble but I thought if I worked hard, proving that I was a valuable asset that this would be a company I could see in my 5 year plan.  Unfortunately my contract came to an end and I was left with an option of taking a 100% commission position.   Hiring and mentoring a team of merchandisers.  I have to admit I was scared.  So scared.  Fear racked me to my core.  You see, I had stopped job hunting.  I felt secure.  This was my first mistake.   Lesson learned.
After the first month in this position I made less than I would have made on unemployment. We couldn’t pay the mortgage.  Not even sure how we were going to make the minimum payment on our credit card.  We just got our statement for the 0% credit card and now that is just a few hundred dollars away from being maxed.  We tried to refinance our mortgage but we were denied because collectively we don’t make enough money to afford our mortgage.  Really?  That’s why we were trying to re-finance.  I called my sister in tears.  I really don’t know anyone who has been in this type of trouble.  And If someone in my life was going through this they surely didn’t talk to me about it.  I had no idea where to start.  My sister gave me a bunch of links to different websites.  I am going to psych myself up and try to call and ask for assistance today.  I feel like a failure having to swallow my pride and ask for help.  This is unknown territory for us.  I have always been in a situation where I could manifest income.  We used to joke that I could pull $1000 out of my ass.  But we need a lot more than $1000 this time.  I am looking for another job.  Jamey is looking for another job.  I am trying to sell as much jewelry as I can. I am trying to encourage my team to sell as much jewelry as they can.

I am only writing this post because my life it really great!  I have all the love anyone could ever ask for.  I get to go to parties and meet new people and go to the gym to work off my stress.  But I want people in the same position to know they aren’t alone.  It’s just so hard to talk about it.  I am learning a lot and know when I get through this hardship that I will tell my story and hopefully help someone through their financial hardship.

Wish us luck.