going up

I live in a 3 story building.  I don’t know many of my neighbors names, however my husband and I have made up names for when we are referring to them.  Hat. Skeletor.  Parents with loud kids. Parents with screaming baby.  Lady with miniature poodle.  You get the point.  When I push the button to go down/up I do a silent wish that nobody is on the elevator with me.  I hate the small talk.  Weather? Dogs? Whatever?  I just don’t want to be bothered.  If they have a cute dog and I feel like engaging I talk to the dog not the owner.  If the rider is wearing some fabulous shoes or jewelry I am full of compliments.  That doesn’t happen often.  The ride is so short so you can’t really have a real conversation with someone.  My husband and I used to make fun of our next door neighbor because every time she got on the elevator she would start clicking away on her Blackberry.  I have adopted that behavior.  I know, shame on me.

Since I have started my new job I have to be more social and try to get to know people so I can set up more shows.  So today I actually tried my hand.  The rider had a Trader Joes bag.  I started talking about how great it is that you can host a party and have 10 appetizers ready in less than 30 minutes and it looks like you spent a lot of time.  She lived on the same floor as me, however I have never seen her before.  My condo is right off the elevator so we actually stopped and talked in front of my door about food and parties.  Here was my in…I told her about my new gig and she was super interested only if I help out with the food prep. hahahaha!  Now here is where it went wrong.  We introduced ourselves and I cannot remember her name or her unit number.  I was so excited that I made a connection that it went in one ear and out the other.  Now I would say that I had some good success trying my hand at elevator small talk.  Next time I will pull out my business card.  I hope this isn’t a missed opportunity.




A few weeks ago I hit a brick wall in my life.  I wasn’t getting called back from any job interviews, I stopped going to the gym, I started watching more television than anybody should.  I just felt uninspired.  So I decided to mix it up a little bit and I went to the fabric store.  Just the place for an un-inspired fashion designer to go.  I found a fabric and then I decided what I could make with it.  Getting back into sewing is not easy.  Threading the machine required a cheat sheet.  But I got through it and started working on my new dress.  That very day I received 3 e-mails from companies that wanted to set up phone interviews.  I was so excited.  I thought I should start thinking about what I could wear to interviews.  I thought I could even wear the dress I was making.   I spent the following day working on the dress as well and I ran out of navy thread.  The dress isn’t that difficult to make but now I have to make another trip to the fabric store.  I wanted to finish the dress so I could try styling it for a job interview if I ended up having a face to face.  Give me another option as most of my clothes no longer fit.

The next day as I was job hunting a listing caught my attention.  It said something like “Are you ready to shed 20 pounds?”  “Do you live in the Studio City area?”  So I kept reading.  All they asked for was a few pictures, age, weight and contact info.  So I went ahead and sent off my reply.   About 30 minutes later I get a reply asking me to fill out a questionnaire.  I still didn’t have a clue what I was getting myself into at this point.  After I sent back the questionnaire I received a phone call.  The contact wanted to meet with me and discuss the opportunity.  She gave me the name of the gym and the company I would be working with.  I was excited!  I made it through the first step.  My story was interesting and I am attractive.   That was what the contact said.  So a few days later I met up with my contact and she took some shots of my face and of my rear end.  She informed me of the time commitment and asked me if I would have a problem seeing it through the end.

I had to wait about 2 weeks until I heard back from her but I got in on the trial.  She needed me to show up at the gym on Wednesday for a photo and video shoot.  I am going to be in an infomercial for a new at home device.  Training would start the following day.  So it is a 1 month commitment and they have 2 training times so that if I were to get a job I could still make it work.

I was under the impression that we would be working on this device everyday for an hour.  Ummmm, no!

They have had us spinning for 55 minutes.  Then and hour of either Pilates, body sculpting or using the device.  Two hours of intense training.  My body was in shock.  Day 2 they decide that we have to go on this new clean food program.  So different from what I was doing that I lost 3 pounds in 2 days.  I needed the weekend to recoup.  And I cheated.  I had fried chicken and it was so delicious.  They gave us a food journal and they told us not to eat chicken.  I had just got back into eating chicken after years of giving it up.  Now I had to try something completely out of my box.  No pasta, no dessert, no bread, no dairy, no coffee, no processed food etc…  All I kept hearing was NO the first few days.  But after a week I have tried some new things and they turned out pretty good.  My body is still going through detox.  I have nausea from carb withdrawal.  I actually googled “new diet nausea” to find out what was going on. Only natural when your body is off carbs.  21 days to a new behavior.  I know this to be true and I am riding this one out.  I want to share my experience with anyone who thinks they don’t have it in them.  I want to tell them that the muscle pain goes away.  It is only temporary.  Keep thinking of how great your buns are going to look.  I have struggled every day.  My husband has been my cheerleader.  He has even been eating dinners with me.  Now I can’t wait for the month to be over to tell everyone what I am not supposed to tell them now.  Plus my butt is going to look great in short shorts.

Now back to that dress.  I need to get some more interviews on the calendar.






one fish, two fish…

Sometimes someone else’s story is worth sharing. Told from my perspective but it really isn’t my story.

I am in the kitchen assisting in the preparation of dinner for my family.  This weekend we have 12 people in Grey Gull (our summer home).  All of a sudden I hear yelling.  Not just yelling, but very loud repetitive obscenities.  I rushed out front and there is my brother cursing like a sailor at the platter of grilled Swordfish that has somehow made its way to the ground.  Shocked, does not describe how I am feeling in this moment.  He is still yelling.  More family members come outside to witness the haps.  Knowing how much money was spent on the fish, my sister-in-law picks up a spatula and exclaims, “we are eating it.  There is nothing wrong with it.  A little dirt won’t hurt us.”  I was already resolved to ordering a pizza but she wasn’t having it.  The kids were eating hamburgers and they were still on the grill.

Dinner is served.

My sister-in-law took the fish and scraped off some of the dirt and pine needles and then placed the platter on the table.  We all took a serving and began eating.  None of us saying a word.  My father-in-law had no idea what happened as he was not witness to my brothers rampage.  How it happened is anyone’s guess but it was all blamed on the hamburgers.  I guess my brother thought that if he didn’t need to make the burgers then he wouldn’t have had to make a separate trip into the house with the platter of fish.  Which he dropped on the ground.  My niece was not down with eating the swordfish so she requested a burger.  While my youngest niece wanted a bit of both.

I hate to admit it but the fish was delish!