The Final Episode

I watched alone.  Just me a box of tissues and a cup of tea.  I had no idea what to expect and I didn’t want anyone to ruin the moment for me.   I watched intently for her final thoughts.  I took notes.

Something clicked in my head as I sat there.  This whole thing is a bit cultish.  Not in a bad brainwashing way but in a spiritual way.  Oprah has guided me on my journey through life.  I have watched the show for as long as I can remember.  I share her insight and wisdom with others.  I believe I am her wordspreader.  I aid in the “tipping point.”   I believe that “What you put out comes back all the time, no matter what.”  I know this her creed and I believe that this is one of the reasons she has become so successful.  I apply it into my own life.  I share this insight with others.

On her final episode she asked, “What are the whispers in your life?”  I wrote this down.  I haven’t worked it out yet but I put it out in the Universe for me to get back to.  She also asked, “What sparks the light in you?”  I know the answer to this one.  I just need to weed whack the path so I can see the light.

“Own the life you were created for.”  This is a self reflection lesson.  I will have to dive deep.  I have worked so long to just pay the bills that the life I was created for has gotten lost somewhere.  I have time now to figure that one out and work towards the ownership of my own life.  I spoke at my college graduation in 2003.  I used the Dunkin Donuts marketing campaign “It’s time to make the donuts!”  as a reference to how work just takes over your life.  I have been living that campaign for too long!  I know that I have to define my own life.  But I have been letting others write my script.  I now have the time to work on my definition of what my life should look like.

Many people “believe” in me.  They see my potential.  Oprah has said over and over,  “What you believe has more power than what you dream, wish, or hope for.  You become what you believe.”  What do I believe?

The final episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show was her farewell to this chapter of her life.  But I think it was also a farewell to a chapter in my life too.

I am looking forward to my next chapter.

Stay tuned.

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Itsy Bitsy, Teeny Weeny

Itsy Bitsy Me

I bought a bikini at Target today without trying it on.  I know it will fit as I buy the same style every year.  I really just liked the color.  I could probably find something that looks better on me but I don’t really care that much.
I see so many people that look worse than me at the beach or pool that I just have to be confident with who I am.  I am my own worst critic.  If I am not feeling that confident I just wear a cover-up.  A great way to camouflage.  I could even wear a disguise like an oversized hat and sunglasses and then I would be ready to take on the world!  In diva fashion of course.  The most important thing that you should wear is SPF.  Have I achieved full coverage?  I seem to always miss a spot and I get a horrible weird burn.  The key is to apply when your nude.

timing

I asked the Universe for time.  I begged the Universe for time.  The Universe told me something had to give…

Now that I have time it seems as if nobody else has time.  Or they don’t want to use their time on me.  I don’t take it personally.  I am not extending invitations.  Lack of money does that.   My friend Villa and I have built a better relationship because we make an appointment to walk together 3 days a week.  We live close so this is an easy appointment to keep.  And selfishly it helps me too.

My husband and I get so much time together that he complains about no “alone” time.  I understand this completely because I used to get up at 5am to have my “alone” time before I went to work.  I have started giving him his time.

Using my time wisely sometimes becomes a challenge.  I don’t really know who coined that phrase and who’s decision is it to qualify time well spent.  But right now in my life I have time to relax.  To take things slow.  I am enjoying that.  A typical day for me is not jammed pack with must dos.  I am working on myself.  Reading, exercising, meditating and some days I might decide to do the laundry, cook dinner or clean the bathroom.  Don’t judge me on how I spend my time.  Job hunting is stressful.  The job description may look great and then it only pays minimum wage.  You send out 100 resumes and get no responses.  You finally get an interview and then you don’t get the job.  It is a roller coaster ride.  Messes with your psyche.

I have learned that the time I have been given is a gift and I am not going to waste one minute.

Thank you Universe for the gift of time.

Great lessons

Toni Morrison was on Oprah on Friday.  I think that her message really  hit home for a lot of people.  I teared up.

But what I am most curious about is, what she was wearing in her hair?  Seriously?  A blue bandana?  Why would Oprah’s people even allow that?  Is she representing?  I just really want to know why?

I don’t know the significance.  It is such a bizarre wardrobe choice.

Someone please give her an Hermes scarf.